People Skill – The First Initiative

Visualize your life till now. Attempt to get into a flashback. Think of 15-20 years back and remember the first meeting (or it could be the first talk on a phone call) you had with a dear friend of yours. There are some relations in our life which are gifted by God – Blood relations. But the remaining ones are those whom WE CHOOSE. We all are aware of this, but I am talking about it because, today, I would like to share a vital skill, PEOPLE SKILL.

People Skill – What does this mean?

It means a set of skills any human can/should follow to become influential with everyone, which means to have an ‘aura’ such that people would look forward to talking to you to get associated with you.

The People skill I am going to address today is to ‘Take the initiative to talk to a person.’ The person could be known (Watchman, Liftman, Secretary, Building Mate, Driver, Maid, Colleagues, etc.), or he/she could be a stranger you meet in the lift, office, grocery store, mall, or at the gym.

While Relating to an Unknown Person

At the beginning of the article, I asked you to remember the first meeting with any of your dear friend. At that point, when you would have met first, either of you must have taken the initiative to start a conversation. Some relations come to us without choice – like our husband/wife’s friends become our friends. Yet one fine day, ONE meet up with that same friend (of your husband/wife), turns out in such a manner that you both come to a common point of thoughts, which we can call telepathy – having the same approach towards life, vibrating on the same frequency. So, owing to one (or both) person’s initiative to keep the talk on, you both today are blessed to share such a beautiful relationship. Thus, taking the initiative is a start to one of life’s most precious friendships. The same applies to your profession. Your first initiative with an unknown person at a cafe, mall, grocery store, etc. could spark a lasting business relationship.

Here, I would like to share with you a recent incident in my life. A few days back, I spoke to someone for the first time, and yesterday, I messaged her and thanked her that ‘I am glad we spoke that day.’ Why? What magical happened in 10 days? Here you go. My mom had asked me to speak to her regarding the new venture she has started. So I spoke to her about it, but she didn’t want to go ahead with it. Then I generally asked her more about herself, and she inquired about me. I shared that I am writing blogs, as well. On further talking, we realized that our thoughts were quite similar to the approach towards life. Though we spoke to each other for the first time, our call lasted for 25 minutes. After I hanged up the phone call, I shared my first blog, which was on ‘sharing,’ and co-incidentally, she said that she had also written a blog on the same topic four months back. Such small things give such a GOOD feeling. I checked her blog and inquired her as to how I can post my blog also on the site (Finnick.club) she has published. She said that her cousin has come up with this idea of starting a platform where people could share their knowledge and experiences. And no later, my blog got published on Finnick.club. I am so happy and glad we both held on the phone call a little longer. So, I firmly believe small things matter a lot in life. 

Relating with a known Person:

When you take the first initiative and talk/greet known people you meet in your day-to-day life- you give a clear message to that person that- he/she an important entity. And my dear reader (friend), when I am asking you to talk, I am referring to a short conversation. A smile and a simple “Hello. How are you?” and followed by “You are doing great. That is Amazing!”. and the conversation ends. This small talk:

1. Makes the other person feel important that someone asked about me.

2. Builds a bridge between both of you. And as the frequency of you greeting them increases, the person feels connected and comfortable speaking to you.

3. Such short investments of greeting people makes the opposite person in a mode of ‘Happy to help you.’ I have personally experienced this. The watchman of my building happily does the work delegated by me.

How to take the initiative?

The first and the easiest way to start a conversation is to give a smile. (Now, this is possible only if you both have eye contact with each other). Smile truly is the simplest yet powerful tool to start up with. The person would surely smile back. Next, you can

1. Either greet Hello. How are you? 

2. Or appreciate the person. The appreciation should be a genuine one. You would wonder that in a fraction of seconds, how to appreciate and what to appreciate? But yes, it is possible to do so. It is just a matter of HABIT. If I can do it, You too can do it. Practice, and it shall eventually become a part of you. 

Now that you have decided to learn how to appreciate a person in seconds, I shall guide you on how to appreciate.

At a glance, you would be able to find at least one good thing about that person- it could be his/her attire, shoes, jewelry, height, health, accessories, hair, perfume, any book or bag they are holding in hand. So, just go ahead and praise them. Do not think what the opposite person shall think about you. Overthinking kills innocence. You found something genuinely good about them, and you appreciated it. That’s it. Isn’t it simple? Isn’t life simple?

3. or thirdly, talk about any common topic which is relevant to that person as per the age, time, and location(in short). Today’s weather, school, religion, health, finance, stock market, sports, spirituality, shopping, etc. Just that START is important; rest talk happens automatically with the flow.

Why do we do it?

You must be getting this question in mind that why is there a need to do this. You have a big family and a set of friends. Yes, I agree with you. But communication is essential, and this communication has to spread its wings far and beyond if you want to be a LEADER in life. A Leader is a person who thinks not of a set of groups BUT a larger group. I would like to illustrate this with a very simple example. In school days, the class teacher used to appoint a MONITOR. So, the duty of the monitor involves talking, conversing, and communicating with all. Right? Be it monitor or captain of any team; they can’t restrict themselves to be in touch with a few and leave the rest unattended. Same way, if you want to be a leader in life, if you want to create a history, if you want to achieve all your goals and dreams, if you want to excel in life- to overcome your inhibitions and have the ability to converse with any person is very crucial. So, what is the wait for? Begin now!